To “Emily”…

Dear Sexpert,

I would like some advice. When I switched birth control, my sex drive went into overdrive and it was amazing. My husband was overwhelmed by it because I usually have a 0 sex drive, then it was suddenly like a 12. After about 2 weeks my hormones normalized and sex drive went back to 0.Since then, sex has been blah! I’ve read your posts about the more sex you have the more you want it, and that is definitely true and I think a factor for our current bedroom life. Right now, we have sex maybe 1-2 times per week and it isn’t a long session by any means. It usually seems like just as I’m enjoying it, it is ending. We have no foreplay because it’s the same 2 moves and eventually I just get frustrated with that, so I don’t get ready during that at all. We know this is an issue we are facing and need it fixed. I work a super physically exhausting job and we have 2 kids under 4, so we are drained almost every day. I think that aids in my lack of desire for sex, but then also the frustration of knowing I’m not going to enjoy it all that much. I want to purchase the clitoris gel you talked about in one FB post and see if that helps. But my question, long-winded as my backstory is, is do we increase the amount of sex we have and I just go along with it until his endurance is back up for me to enjoy our time together or is/are there other ideas (s) you have? Thank you!

“Emily”

Dearest, Frustrated “Emily”:

This is a GREAT question! Thank you for submitting it! This will help many! Let’s turn you into an orgasmic beast, shall we? LOL

I know the Intimate Earth Intense Clitoral Gel, which you mentioned in your letter, will be a huge benefit for you! However, you’ll need a great body-safe lubrication that will help protect your body, allow you more feeling and aid you in reaching orgasm as well. You’ll also want to be able to clean your toys to protect them and your body. All 3 of those items are in the Enjoy the Toy Kit that’s explained at the bottom! There are 4 items in that kit and since it’s a purchase with purchase, I highly recommend that you add it on to your toy purchase!

In your particular situation, I recommend a great C-Ring. Currently, we carry two C-Rings. We-Vibe Pivot (is app-enabled to control it from anywhere you are) and Lelo Tor 2. Both are fantastic options, but I would recommend the We-Vibe Pivot as you may be adding on a We-Vibe Couples Vibe as well and they also have an app-enabled version so that you can “play together” before you even get together for some awesome foreplay! Learn more about the We-Vibe Pivot C-Ring here.

Let me explain C-Rings first as they’re gaining crazy popularity but many don’t “get it” or how they’re used or what benefits they bring to the bedroom.

The “C” in C-Rings stands for CONSTRICTION. The C-Ring is worn at the base of the penis. To give you a “quick and dirty” male anatomy lesson, there is no bone in the penis. An erection is created just by blood and the tissue inside. To have an erection, there must be excellent blood flow.

There is a valve that pumps the blood into the penis, but only a drain of sorts to allow the blood to “drip” back out of the penis. The constriction at the base of the penis allows the blood to continue to pump into the penis, but not to drain back out, which will plump him up like a Ballpark Frank and no one hates that. It also corrects all 4 types of erectile dysfunction which used to mostly affect the senior community. Now ED affects men and women of all age groups thanks to medications, environmental components such as stress, exhaustion, depression, chemicals in foods, etc.

The four types of ED for men are:

1. Difficulty getting an erection
2. Difficulty maintaining an erection
3. Premature ejaculation and
4. Delayed ejaculation

It sounds like a contradiction that one type of toy can correct issues that are opposite to each other, so let me explain how that works and how it benefits the penis owner.

C-Rings should not be stretched out. Yes, they are elastic silicone, but they shouldn’t be stretched to apply to the penis so that they can hold their elasticity for a long and happy lifespan! Put a body-safe (preferably the Silk Hybrid Lube) on your fingertip and apply it to the inside of the ring. Slide the ring down the penis (because of the lube and how the toy is made, you can do this to an erect or flaccid penis! The C-Ring is like the cape that turns Clark Kent into Superman! LOL

If his issue is difficulty GETTING an erection, this corrects that one!

The constriction around the base of the penis will allow the erection to become harder faster and create a stronger erection. The penis will become more sensitive, which will aid in helping maintain the erection.

The toy also vibrates, thus turning his penis into your new favorite vibrator! I know what many of you are thinking… “Great! More sensitivity! He’s already a little quick on the draw let’s make that worse!” Haha – it doesn’t work that way, in fact, it’s the opposite! If you have a man who ejaculates too quickly, it’s due to the penis being so sensitive. They can hold off for only so long until the sensitivity takes over and they’re finished. ADDING more sensitivity will put him into something called “sexual chaos”, which makes it very difficult to reach orgasm that way. Let me explain. Women have typically at some point in their sexual lives experienced sexual chaos. Most commonly, this experienced by a woman during sex in a doggy style position. Some men will do the “courtesy reach around” to provide clitoral stimulation at the same as penetration of the penis. If they’re off sync at all – the thrusting and the clitoral stimulation aren’t in perfect balance, it causes sexual chaos for the woman. He’s doing one thing behind her and another on the clitoris until the inner voice in her head is screaming, “GOOD GOD MAN! Left or RIGHT! Pick ONE!” and she typically will just move the hand providing the clitoral stimulation, letting him know she doesn’t need that part. You know you’ve experienced this… unless you’ve only slept with drummers. They can keep great rhythm, I hear! LOL Sexual chaos works the same in men. If they ejaculate too quickly, adding in MORE stimulation will cause that sensation and give him more control. He’ll be able to perfectly time his orgasm either during or after hers because he’ll have that ability. The same is said for those with delayed ejaculation. You may be thinking, “Is that really even a problem?!” Yes, it is. Delayed ejaculation isn’t all bunnies and rainbows like we think. It can go for hours… It’s frustrating, often painful, physically, for both parties involved and they just can’t reach the finish line. Adding the stimulation of the C-Ring will bring enough sensitivity to the penis to allow him to reach his orgasm, again, when he wants.

C-Rings are wonderful in that they teach men to have control over their orgasm and how they please their partner.

It’s important to understand that men are pleasers. Whether they have the emotional, mental or verbal capacity to express it, they’re more interested in the orgasm of their partner than their own. Think about it. You’ll never hear a man bragging in a locker room to other men about the amazing orgasm they had the other night! They don’t talk about themselves! They talk about YOU! They say things like, “Dude! She was speaking Spanish! She doesn’t even know Spanish! She was all, Si, Poppy! Si, Poppy!” That’s where they get their sense of manhood and security in the relationship. When they know their partner is sexually pleased it increases their confidence in the relationship exponentially. You’re welcome!

If you REALLY want to push your sex life to the limit, add in a We-Vibe Couples’ Vibe, such as the We-Vibe Unite (not app-enabled) or the We-Vibe Sync (app-enabled) to allow play through the We-Vibe app of both the Pivot and the Sync!

How to combine these, you ask? Simple! Put the C-Ring at the base of the penis, insert the Couples Vibe and experience G-Spot stimulation in addition to a penis that can go as long as you both need it to. That’s a recipe for the best orgasm ever… Women can experience 9 different types of orgasms and 3 different levels of intensity of an orgasm:

1. Unigasm – stimulating one body part to bring about an orgasm.
2. Bigasm – stimulating two body parts to bring about an orgasm.
3. Trigasm – stimulating three body parts to bring about an orgasm.

This is will give the Trigasm orgasm to the woman by the Couple’s Vibe providing G-Spot and clitoral stimulation and the C-Ring providing penile penetration simultaneously.

Orgasms are contagious. The more you have, the more you want! This combination will make you want to have sex and crave that time with your partner! That’s a huge win!

ENJOY THE TOY KIT – An Optional Add-On – $59

PURCHASE WITH PURCHASE OF PLEASURE PRODUCT

The Enjoy the Toy kit is the guarantee that you will enjoy your toy! Adding the Enjoy the Toy Kit to your toy purchase also extends the warranty on this toy and all the toys you purchase in the future within a year! The warranty is extended for as long as the toy is still in our line and as long as I’m still in business, so that’s a great little insurance policy!

It contains four products:

• Toy Cleanser – to keep your toy clean and protect your body and toy
• Silk Hybrid Lubrication to keep your body safe and protected while it assists in orgasmic pleasure
• Clitoral Arousal Gel which makes it physically impossible for your mind to wander during play
• Sheet Spray infused with pheromones to put you in the mood and also dry up “the wet spot” after the fun is over

I hope this helps! If you have further questions or want to ask another, feel free to submit another question or just comment on this blog post and I’ll be able to help!

Good luck and HAPPY humping! 😉